Day 29: Grand Canyon, AZ

This day proved that both sisters are hiking masochists. Despite sore calves and overall tiredness – they planned to go hiking again, this time on the Grand View trail.

Not only was this a hike, but it descended over a mile down in elevation. It was six miles total. THIS MEANS, 3 miles downward and 3 miles upward. Loosing and gaining more than a mile in elevation each time. NOW we have lungs of steel, and also Maryanne has six blisters.

At the bottom of the hike were old copper mines left from the early 1900s! They were radioactive though, so we didn’t explore inside. There were pick axes and strange equipment left out to be explored. It was fascinating and astounding that they had once successfully mined in such a difficult to reach location. (In fact, it was because of location and dropping copper prices this mine shut down.)

Hiking back to the top there was some complaining due to the ceaseless upward slope. Also we got grouchy and felt the hike wasn’t rated properly. Yes, it warned it wasn’t maintained, but we felt there should have warnings about the 200 foot drops and how strenuous it was.

Returning at 4PM, we took showers and washed the red dirt off. THEN we ate the MOST DELICIOUS MEAL of the ENTIRE TRIP! (Everyone has been great, but this was just extra great.) Steak, corn, salad, pasta salad and looooove all onto one plate! It was beyond delicious. Thank you Deb and Rob!!

28: The Grand Canyon!

We made it on the Bright Angel Trail by 8AM and descended 6.1 miles into the canyon. It was beautiful – although a bit of a popular trail. Once we went past the few “stops” the crowds thinned out and soon we were nearly alone. We even spotted a mule deer during the daylight, which was unusual.

There were several places to refill your water – which was great because it was nearly 90 degrees. We each drank over a gallon of water to stay hydrated. Maryanne had read all the pamphlets and parts of the book, Over the Edge: Death in the Grand Canyon and kept up a steady monologue of stories about people who had died on this very trail from dehydration.

At the peak of their hike on Plateau Point, Maryanne saw the critically endangered California Condor! They have been reintroduced into the wild in Grand Canyon. THERE ARE ONLY 156 IN THE WILD IN THE WORLD! She shouted and suddenly everyone was very excited and taping them or snapping photos. It was one of the most special moments in her life. THEN there were TWO Condors annnnnnd they flew within 15 feet of her. They must have felt the love pouring from her to them, because there was definitely a connection.

After this miraculous moment, nothing could spoil the atmosphere – not even the two girls from NY at the rest station. Literally, the following events occurred:
1) They asked if it was hotter at the bottom because you were closer to the equator.
2) They complimented an older avid hiker couple on their, “like cute matching hiking outfits!”
3) They stated that they thought the people with the “big backpacks” were bringing in giant picnic lunches – not camping equipment.
4) They brought a tiny 6 oz bottle of water and bag of pretzels for a 5 mile down and 5 mile UP hike; despite the 50 signs warning this might KILL YOU. They thought people with gear were weird.
5) Etc.
It’s hard to remember when we spent most of the time wondering how their vote carries equal weight in the election.

To celebrate making it of this hike, we drank a beer and returned to our fantastic hosts! It was only 5PM, but we were beat and we were asleep by 7PM.

Day 27: Kayenta, AZ to the GRAND CANYON!

The adjective “Grand” is used a limited three times in this entry.

The drive was monotonous, mostly because we’ve been driving for 27 days now and have been in this region enough to no longer shout, “COOL ROCKS!” every ten minutes. Regardless, arriving at the Grand Canyon was glorious! It is massive! Red! Beautiful! Deep! Ancient! Flaring! Vast!

We stopped at several viewpoints, but even on a Monday in October it was crowded! Being misanthropes for the day, we moved on quickly.

We found a place with internet, and updated THIS blog , planned the remainder of our trip out and facebooked. It made us feel great to know the plans for the next two weeks!

It would have been unsatisfactory and lame to have not hiked on day one in Grand Canyon, so we did the easy Rim Hike for 3 miles. We also filmed a parody of a recent film. See Below:

Then we meet Deb and Rob, our couch surfing hosts! They are practically celebrated in their references AND they have “gold panning” listed as an interest on their profile! We knew we had to stay with them. Apparently they felt the same way about us, because as the only host in the Grand Canyon, they are bombarded with requests, yet still said YES to us.

They are so generous and into this couch surfing thing! They even gave us couch surfing pins, dinner AND pamphlets for the area! They are greater than any visitor center.

Day 26: Kayenta, Arizona: Navahow Indian Reservation

The next morning, Jen took us through Monument Valley properly. She told us about what different rocks meant to the Navaho people and their mythology. It was all very interesting.

She also explained that the reason so many hours have tires piled up (or bizarre totem poles made out of trash) is for their addresses! A lot of places don’t have street names, so people refer to their homes by their own created landmarks! As in, “take a left at the four tires standing up then pull up to the stack of orange metal bits formed to make a tree shape.”

After this view of poverty, we went into the Goulding’s Museum which told the Hollywood filming history for the area. Neither sister realized SO MUCH filming had occurred there! Honestly, Hollywood brought a lot of attention to this otherwise economically lacking area – good job, for once!


Back at Jen’s house, we went out for an uncharted hike to a place she called, “The Toes.” Shockingly, the rock formation we were heading toward did look like toes. This hiking adventure contained a battle with vegetation we’ve never tackled before – extremely prickly seeds and we barely made it out!

Once we returned successfully, we celebrated ourselves; we ordered the FIRST EVER pizza to be delivered to Jen’s house! Mail still has to be picked up at the post office, but pizza now comes to your door at the reservation! Is this progress or a pitfall?

We spent the rest of the night relaxing, watching Sex and the City and helping grade some 3rd grade math papers. Marvelous!

Follower of the Month!

Every time we update this blog - we look at our follower list in great satisfaction. Today - we looked deeper and noticed the glorious profiles created by some. One shined above the rest with her Obama themed pumpkin carving picture....and this follower is BrownGirl72. She list one of her many favorite activities as keeping up with family! We praise you BrownGirl 72. There is still one month to go - and you will receive a honorary postcard for your efforts.

With love from above (3,000 feet elevation),
Helen and Maryanne

Day 25: From Moab to Kayenta, Arizona: Navaho Indian Reservation

We met up early that morning with our new friends and headed to the 3rd annual, “Pumpkin Chukin’ Festival!” This festival is literally a celebration of pumpkins, with events including a seed spitting contest AND a pumpkin launching contest!


In the spitting contest, Maryanne’s seed only went 82 inches, while Helen’s went over 200 – but they both LOST to someone else, so there was no fighting.

After Helen’s spitting superiority, there was the LAUCHING of the pumpkins! This included catapults and massive slingshots to do the CHUCKIN. It was the most ridiculous and entertaining festival we’ve EVER seen. Some pumpkins went over 300 feet! Some went backwards into the area the crowd was told not to stand! Only three people were injured!

Afterwards we left for Kayenta, Arizona, a city on the Navaho Indian Reservation. As we were driving, we passed a huge stretch of unique and massive rocks. We got out and took pictures – and later learned that this was Monument Valley! Film location for John Wayne western films and other classics!

We met our host, Jen, and she continued our all-day pumpkin celebration by taking us to a friend’s small Halloween party to paint pumpkins! (Jen lives on the reserve as a teacher in a public school.) We learned a lot of fascinating things about the Reserve. Alcohol is illegal – you cannot buy or consume anything. There is still a strong resistance toward Western culture. The language is still spoken, and many, many other quirky things.

That night we all told ghost stories and everyone got really scared……we won’t scare the followers and tell you what the stories were, but look behind you! YIKES.

Day 23 and 24 - More Moab

If Helen and Maryanne were a couple, they would have broken up at this point of the trip. Unfortunately they are related and destined to spend the rest of their holidays together. In order to make this relationship last they split up on day 23.

Those few hours alone as told by Helen:
I was very excited at having the opportunity to rock climb. My experience with rock climbing involves maybe climbing at the county fair once or twice – therefore I was expecting to get my ass kicked by professional climbers. We started with the boulder that I thought was hard. I was hanging upside down to get a boulder – but after several attempts I made it up and the respect of the other two in the group. With the boulder out the way – we went to a rock formation called “ice cream parlor” which was indeed pretty sweet. There we did 5 – 80 foot climbs. I made it to the top of all of them except one. Later I watched a 7 year old boy make it to the top of the one I did not manage to conquer. As if my body was not already utterly exhausted – these climbing fools wanted to a free climb up a 80-foot “cliff tunnel” called moonflower. They had put logs inside this wall so you could make it up the steep cliff. This was really fun and I loved this part of the day. I was on a climbing high after this great day – but also very hungry. We headed to the grocery store then back to the hostel to meet up with Maryanne.


Those few hours alone as told by Maryanne: I had intended to go hiking and see some Indian pictographs, but no sooner than I had gotten out of my car than a 38 year old man from the hostel spotted me! I was about 8 miles out in the wilderness and felt stalked because he’d been giving off creepy vibes the night before. I couldn’t lie fast enough to escape – you know, say I was leaving or just taking a picture or something. Soon I was hiking with this guy, the trail was very busy, but I still was afraid he was going to smash my skull in. I really believe in trusting you gut, so I asked him the time and quickly said, “OMGOD! I was supposed to meet Helen 30 minutes ago!” and escaped. I had to endure about 40 minutes of possible death hiking first. This was the most dangerous time of the trip for me.

After Maryanne ran away and hid downtown for awhile, both sisters rejoined at the hostel. With the two people Helen had been climbing with, they starter to prepare shish kabobs for dinner. Soon the creepy man was back! Eating the food! It was so socially awkward and baffling that no one knew how to respond. So he ate some of our food and everyone felt resentful toward him, there was even an “incident” involved the “accidental” spilling of pineapple juice on him.

Later in the common room, a man began to prophesize to everyone, and praise that God was LOVE! And he felt so much love in this room, that God was here and inside him! He elaborated on this for awhile and simultaneously hit on every single girl under the age of 25. Later he disappeared with one of them, probably to form the antichrist, but not before saying that drugs bring people closer to God and everyone needs to be close to God and the government is just trying to stop this by making drugs illegal.

That night it was below freezing, so Helen was able to use her southern drawl and get us an RV for the night. (YES! This hostel also rents RVs, cabins and trailers, along with rooms.) We survived another night at the hostel.

That morning, we felt rested. So on our third day in Moab, day 24, we decided to go rock climbing with Helen’s two friends from yesterday. (At this point we were unaware of how bad the drug situation was at the hostel, obviously.) They seemed really chill and had been fun the day before. Soon we were in a truck with 5 strangers and the two friends heading up some backroads looking for the rock climbing secret spot.

Maryanne had been sentenced to the back of the truck with the five strangers and she soon felt like her last minute decision to join this expedition was a mark of masochism. Never before have the words, “fuck” “shit” “dude” and “bitch” been used to form so many sentences.

“Dude this is fucking shit!” OR The view is incredible!
“Bitch, look at the shit!” OR Look at all the strange vegetation!“Fucking, Dude!” OR I’m really enjoying my time in Moab. ETC.
“Dude! Bitching!” OR These mixed nuts are delicious and slightly nutritious.

As the girl Maryanne privately nicknamed, MethMouth began to whine about the last time she had gotten good E – the trapped sensation crept over Maryanne’s soul. She was stranded, an hour out from civilization with people that would bother her if they were simply standing on a street corner together waiting for the light to change.

Finally they arrived at the rock spot, called “The Crack House.” The terror level of Maryanne hit RED, until she learned that this was simply slang for a rock climbing place with lots of cracks used to scramble up the boulders.

The atmosphere was really uncool and Maryanne had only intended to cheer everyone else – not actually climb because she lacks all athletic skills. However she couldn’t even enjoy cheering amongst this group of people – so she read her Army Survival Guide and learned about desert survival in case she decided to flee. She quickly spotted some cacti that were edible and containing water. She knew she’d be okay at that point.

Meanwhile Helen was climbing on the rocks. She said in retrospect that the entire event had been unpleasant because of the people there – but she hates reading so she’d rather try to climb and hum everyone out.

Let’s emphasize again: These people were all things bad, like the abominable snowman.

After about five fake “let’s go’s!” said by the driver, each which raised the sister’s spirits, everyone was FINALLY in the car and we were heading back toward town. On the return, the people in the truck were more frightening than the crash site we spotted with a body outlined in orange paint.

Somehow we stopped at a place called, “Milk’s Diner” which served a wide array of health killing foods. Everyone chowed down, but the sisters who aren’t addicted to crack or meth and will probably live another thirty years (minimum) kind of nibbled awkwardly.

FINALLY, we returned to the hostel. Never had such a shit hole looked so nice.

Quickly we got into the bug and went to a thrift store for Halloween costumes! Maryanne is going to be a watermelon and Helen an old woman, all for a total of $10!!

Next we returned to Arches and did the DELICATE ARCH HIKE! There was speculation during our hike that its name was because it was about to fall, but we were wrong. Seeing it at sunset was beautiful – even though we’d forgotten lights to walk back with.

Returning to the hostel, we met some really cool, unaddicted people in the common room! They were from Spain, Wisconsin and Indiana and soon we planned to go to the “Pumpkin Chuckin” festival together the next day!

We slept great because we knew it was our last night!

Day 22 - Moeb

Generally our days start with us waking up, but on day 22 we just stopped lying on the uncomfortable ground and pretending to sleep. We packed up our tent quickly and escaped the site. In order to recover, we went to a coffee shop with free wifi to find a new home for the night.

The Lazy Lizard Hostel offered camp sites for $6. Although we have a rule that we cannot pay for accommodations – the previous night’s camping location had been so terrible that we decided to declare that rule a guideline. (We had talked to six people for couchsurfing, but couldn’t find a single place to stay.)

We went to this new location and of the 25 hostels Maryanne has stayed in, this one was the worst, BY FAR. Aside from the modly kitchen, bizarre nose-picking staff, permanent residents, fungus filled showers, people who would join your meal uninvited and eat your food, a man who prophesied, there was also a definite undercurrent of very serious drug activity. In retrospect, Maryanne should have realized this would be bad from her European accommodation hunting skills. She failed Helen.

Setting up our tent along a fence dividing the hostel and some unknown property, we felt we would be amply protected from the wind. Regardless, we decided to fortify ourselves further. We used picnic tables, a tire, and large rocks to build our fortress. Upon finishing, we looked up and saw a Disney character doll hanging from the tree with a rope. This was only the start.

We didn’t want to spend any more time here than necessary, so we hopped into the car and went hiking in Arches National Monument. The “Dark Angel” hike was a mere nine miles, so we started out on it. The first mile in we saw loads of people – none of which said “hello” or acknowledged us first. (This is a big difference between hikng in the west and hiking in the southeast.) After the first mile and arch, the hikes in sandals disappeared and we only saw a few people as we discovered the other eight arches on this hike.

In total, nine arches!! Both sisters climbed inside one that had a deathly drop off of the other side! This excitement fueled the rest of the primitive hike, which was literally marked as “primitive” meaning the trail involved 5 to 7 foot jumps down, was all sand and you had to crawl along ledges that if you fell, you’d DIE. Really.

Upon returning to the Lazy Lizard we met many unusual characters. We were enticed into playing a game called, “Daily Hand Charades.” It was a little strange, but kept us entertained before venturing in the 35 degree night air to sleep.

Day 21: Durango, CO to Moab, UT with a stop in Mesa Verde!

We left Durango (and cheap gas) behind as we headed toward Mesa Verde National Park. This NP features many, 2000 known, ruins of homes and villages built by the ancient Pueblo people. These stone dwellings are mostly from the 1200s, (although Maryanne is correct in the video – that was a rare example.) Many buildings were built inside caves or under cliffs, which look impressive and imply that the ancient denizens must have been in shape to do all that climbing.

Helen and Maryanne both enjoyed learning A LOT and hiding behind tour groups to listen to the park ranger speak to groups. It fulfilled Maryanne’s dreams because once in 3rd grade she had to make a Pueblo home out of a show box.

These ancient people did A LOT right. They took care of their crippled children and created crutches, men and women were equal! (women created the pottery and men the weaving), and they understood about living in harmony with their environment. In fact, once they felt they were using up their resources, they moved to a different place for awhile so nature could replenish.

With the election 13 days away, strangers are becoming more volatile about politics. A man came up to Maryanne and pointed to her Obama bumper sticker and jested, “Nice McCain sticker!” Maryanne just laughed and said, “Oh no! Obama all the way!” The man suddenly became aggressive, as though he had just realized the spelling difference between Obama and McCain and began to rant. Maryanne tried to deflect his assaults by saying, “Well at least we can agree to vote!” The man proceeded to blast those dam liberals and ACORN and stated that some counties in Alabama had more registered voters than people. Maryanne was respectful and didn’t state any of the following:
1) ACORN trying to make Alabama into a swing state is a waste of time. Why not take an already swinging state and push them over?!
2) Oh right! Because registration fraud is VERY different from voter fraud. And when you are paying someone commission to register voters – then SHOCKING, there will be fake registrations!
3) Also, true fact: McCain was the keynote speaker in 2006 of ACORN and praised this organization.
The grouchy old man soon returned to his tour bus, and THEN someone else his age snuck over and whispered, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m the only one here who loves your sticker.” Oh, there is hope!

(I don’t support the actions of ACORN, but I understand how someone being paid per registration would be tempted to forge forms.)

That night we got to experience being homeless. We arrived late in Moab and finding a campsite in the dark proved WAY more challenging than anticipated. We finally found a desolate spot, but we were tired and didn’t mind. After setting up camp and eating, we wandered around and discovered that 20 feet away someone else was camping! This eerie feeling, accentuated by their lack of car, bike or motorcycle and the distance out we were, prompted us to pack up quickly.

After another miserable hour of driving, we found a spot. We learned that Maryanne’s 11 year old tent is terrible in wind and has MANY flaps that don’t tie down. We were attacked all night by noise from gusts of winds. We got about 4 hours combined of sleep and packed up at 7AM and left.

Life Lesson, our gift to our readers:
Big Bend Creek = DON’T CAMP THERE UNLESS IN AN RV.

Day 20 Durango, Colorado

Day 20
After twenty days of traveling together, Helen and Maryanne had their first major fight. Helen was voted off the trip by the driver and she responded by saying she’d rather take the bus than ever get in a car again with someone as OCD as Maryanne.

Their entire morning hike consisted of fighting over were to go after Moab. Consequently they got lost on the trail and madder at each other.

Somehow they ended up at the train museum, which would have been nice if the other sibling hadn’t been there.

FINALLY, the twenty day candy fast was broken when in making up, Helen bought Maryanne a truffle and this was enough to earn her forgiveness for all her woes. (Helen also had a truffle.)

Similar to Asheville, the downtown had many cute and fun shops. Maryanne brought her jean ownership total up to two pairs for $25.

We accomplished one mission on our to-do list and saw a brewery, Carvers and sampled some beer. Maryanne had the Raspberry beer, rumored to be the strongest and Helen had the Brown ale, celebrated by name association.

We sampled Thai food as well and the curry was so hot, we both died a little, but it was a good death.

Returning home, there was an APPLE PROCESSING PARTY with Coral and her friends. This included over 200 apples being peeled and made into pies, turnovers, butter, sauce, jelly and cider!

Truly a delectable day: truffles, local beer, Thai curry and apples!

Delta Videos for the Family

This is the BROWN household. Grandmom's house is COMING SOON! We have to borrow internet from motels while we sit in the parking lot. This may take a few days.

Day 19: Grand Junction to Delta to Durango, CO

Upon awaking in our private valley we ate a tasty breakfast of oatmeal and prickly pears that we had learned how to harvest from our Army Survival Guide. As we trekked out we saw the mountain goats again, but one had become injured! Perhaps trying to flee the feral Helen the night before?

One hour later, we parked in Delta, Colorado. For those who haven’t read the Brown dictionary recently, here is a summary:

Delta, Colorado: Home of Helen and Maryanne Brown for the first five and two years of their lives, respectively. (All other facts pale in comparison to the miracle of their lives.)

The Downtown: Two wedding dress stores, seven Mexican restaurants, three boot shops, one sewing store the size of Dicks, two scrapbooking stores and two grocery stores.

We were coerced into a Mexican restaurant because of the sign, “Buy one margarita, get one free!” (Also, it was the only place open on Sunday.) After spending $7 on the strongest drink we’ve had all trip, we continued our discovery of the town.

1) The Republican headquarters were about six times larger than the Democratic ones. We had accidently parked Maryanne’s Obama bumper sticker mobile outside the red one, and were privileged to see a family drinking 40s and picking up McCain signs to parade down the street.

2) We also got to visit our Dad’s old car wash. Maryanne cleaned the cow shit off her car for $2.50 in a possessed fashion, trying to get the car as clean as possible using all the quarters we were able to scrounge.

3) We saw fearsome farming machinery take over the road.

Finally we drove the five miles to our homestead. This hasn’t been visited or seen by a Brown in 19 years and so this truly was an epic pilgrimage. Knocking on the door, we were a bit nervous. (Okay – Helen was embarrassed and Maryanne was energized.) No one answered, accordingly Maryanne set out to take outdoor pictures, while Helen hide in the car and shouted, “You’re going to get shot!” at least twelve times.

The house was beautiful because there was still an aurora that WE had been there for years; next we traveled .1 miles to our Grandmother’s house.

There were people home here and they were excited to see us! The new owners had made her house into a beautiful assisted living house and all the elderly people loved us as well. (There is a long video of the home’s new interior for those interested / FAMILY to watch.)

After this legendary visit, we continued driving south. We stopped in a few cute older mining towns (Ouray and Silverton) and celebrated their historic value. Maryanne celebrated with the rusted old equipment.

THEN we were on the most dangerous road in the entire United States of American, the Million Dollar Highway. This road ascends over a gorge and is characterized by the sheer number of hairpin “S” curves used to gain elevation and the lack of guard rails. (NONE!!) Furthermore, drivers heading south (us!!) are perched on the outside edge of this road. Large RVs and trucks use this road travel in both directions, which only adds to the excitement or fatalities.

We survived and arrived in Durango to meet our host, Coral! She had prepared a delicious and healthy meal and invited us to join in. It was an excellent and safe way to end a thoroughly dangerous day: taking the Obama mobile into Delta and the Million Dollar Deathway.

Day 18 - Vernal, Utah to Grand Junction, Colorado

We left Dinosaur early so we could see the sun rise and the migratory cranes roosting. (We had previously thought these birds were dinosaurs, before our ranger told us the facts. Granted, she also thought the Earth was over 10,000 years old, so take this information with a grain of salt.)

Driving south to Grand Junction we passed many oil rigs all which supported the same candidate, but we also passed many Obama signs on LARGE farms! This norm-breaking was refreshing.

Lunch consisted of PBJ outside of Target, in which people treated us like we were homeless and gave judgmental looks before hopping into their overly large one-person transportation devices. We now felt more empathy to those who live this nomadic lifestyle permanently.

Finally, we made it to Grand Junction! City of birth for Maryanne and Helen! This glorious town had an even more wonderful coffee shop with .50 refills! We were able to spend a few hours updating the blog, catching up on the news and getting extremely manic.

We then went to our place of adventure for the day – Colorado National Monument! We decided to interview and attempt to get a back country camping permit – this ordeal we thought would take all afternoon, but after 3 minutes of declaring we understood no fires or weapons were allowed, we were cleared to camp anywhere 300 feet from a trail!

There were only about two hours of sun left, so Helen lead the troops and carried 60% of the equipment three miles uphill. Maryanne trudged and was able to spot MOUNTAIN GOATS and make sure the entire party was able to see these stereotypically evasive creatures.

Not much later, the powers above paid Maryanne back for her sins by having her sit on a “mother fucking cactus.” This is an exact quote of what the cacti was dubbed by Maryanne.

Helen cooked a delicious meal using couscous and chicken cubes from the 1970s that had been “borrowed” from a certain Beth Brown’s kitchen unbeknownst to her.

Settling into the valley for the night, the troupe was able to see the Independence Monument through one window and the dormant volcano, Mesa Verde through the doorway. All in all, it was a mediocre camping spot.

At about 3AM there was some creature movement outside. Were the mountain goats visiting or had a mountain lion found them? We’ll never know because Helen’s ferocious growling made the creature scamper. Helen later denied that any animals came by and that she had growled. But, they did and she did.

Day 17

Day 17
We scrambled out of the employees living quarters of DNM at 10AM and were instructed by the finest park ranger to check out a trail two miles away, the “Sound of Silence.”

This trail was truly silent, mostly because it was a pathway in a small gorge and also both sisters were parched. It was a three mile DESERT hike and a certain sister forgot water. Water in the desert, (for those who failed elementary school) is vital.

After surviving on cacti water, we met up with Lindsay and went on the Fossil Discovery Hike. She tried to fool us into believing that the earth was over a million years old! Maryanne socked it to her though. VIDEO!

(This video is sarcastic and offensive. Sorry, but we believe in a combination of science and religion and enjoy mocking both.)


On this hike, both sisters found fish scale fossils over a 100 million years old! We thought it was brilliant, but this is an everyday occurrence there, so no one else felt we merited celebration or monuments in our honor.

Like it’s name implies, we were able to see all types of fascinating fossils in the rocks! Clams, turtles, massive dinosaurs, etc! AND WE SAW A LIVE PRARIE DOG!

After this exploration, we went on a car tour of the park. This is designed so you can drive to 15 locations, get out of your car and do short hikes, (ranging from 50 feet to a few miles) to pristine locations. Important events:

1) We found animal tracks on the shore of the Green River and thought it was a mountain lion, so we made noises to intimidate any creatures. We later learned these were dog tracks.

1) We also saw pictographs which are old Indian drawings, about a 1000 years old! These were incredible! Some were really massive and hundreds of feet up!
2) There was a massive rock shaped like a turtle or skull, depending upon your childhood.
3) The tour concluded with a cabin of a homesteader in the 1930s. Josie was a feisty woman who lived her idyllic 19th century life during the 20th century and had went through five husbands! I love her!!

That night Lindsey and one of her colleagues took us deep into the Monument to see some covert pictographs! These were tremendous and some disturbing. There was one that could be interpreted as one person carrying the body of a recent murder victim.

Then it was back to the coffee shop and soon to bed! We officially sanction Dinosaur National Monument!

Day 15 and 16

Day 15 – 16
On Day 15, we woke up in Steamboat Springs. Helen went mountain biking (a dangerous sport that should only be undertaken by those with health insurance) and Maryanne went exploring the downtown. Helen discovered mountains and Maryanne found five books she wanted to buy – but didn't because of life budget cuts. (Library card attainment is number one on list priorities in SF now.)

As we drove away from Steamboat, we talked about how great it was to finally meet our cousins and about the BROWN REUNION; (which is occurring Christmas '09!!) If you're reading this and a Brown, you are invited. If you aren't a Brown, you are invited if you bring us all gifts. We will provide a wish list when the date gets closer.

About an hour and a half away, Helen realized she had left all her nice gear in the dryer. There was panic, swearing, guilt and general misery that was alleviated when our cousin, Amy, promised to ship the stuff to Moab.

Three hours later, we arrived at Dinosaur National Monument (DNM) in Utah only to learn the sole place to get food was another twenty minutes away in Vernal. Maryanne hates excessive driving and so she was annoyed to waste gas, money and time. Helen tried to make her less upset, but soon both sisters were angry to learn that Utah only allows 3.2% alcohol and charges about 40% more in cost!

We purchased survival food and then drove BACK to meet our excellent couch surfing host, Lindsey! Lindsey is actually a park ranger for DNM and so the only way she could have been more perfect was if she washed our car and gave us each a $1000. Regardless of the lack of back massages, she was excellent!

Day 16 we went to the visitor center and talked to the park ranger / our host, Lindsey and got some advice about where to go. She suggested we drive about 40 minutes to see the Jones Hole Trail. There were many obstacles in getting there – most notably a herd of 300 cows in the middle of the road.

When Maryanne's cow shit covered car (euphemisms don't capture how gross the car was) finally made it to the trail, we were very excited to get out and explore!

The eight mile trail was both sisters' favorite trail of their entire lives. We saw dead deer! Bighorn sheep! The Green River! Walked between canyons! Ate a lunch atop a waterfall! Hunted for fossils! Saw inbred children! DINOSAURS! Watch the video!

That night, we went downtown in Vernal for coffee and internet. Soon we met up Lindsey's friends and coworkers and somehow we ended up in a big truck heading into the woods of Utah to explore a cave. If ever there was a time we were going to die while couch surfing, this WAS it.
We went to Massie's Cave (spelling?) and explored inside it. It was really fascinating, a labyrinth of turns and twists, that only our guides understood. There was spray-paint

Day 13 and 14 - Steamboat Springs

Day 13 and 14: Steamboat Springs
Day 13 we woke up in Laramie Wyoming and our native host, Mike gave us a treat of something very Wyoming-esque: animal heads in the outdoor freezer. Initially Maryanne was very excited about this, but seeing their bloody stumps was actually disgusting, if not slightly impressive. Both sisters appreciated that these hunters use the entire carcass. And since they’ve been seeing so many animals that could attack the Bug, they say, HUNT MORE! (But only in Wyoming, not in Washington DC, because the only animals there are humans and that is called murder and illegal unless you are wealthy or OJ.)

Our drive south to get warm FAILED. The further we drove, the colder it got. This is shown on video, WATCH. (below)

We stopped in Saratoga (Wyoming) for free hot springs. Also called, the hobo pool. We met a man in there who had just been hunting elk. He was a character. The pools were so HOT through, that we had to evacuate every 10 minutes or risk boiling to death. After about 30 minutes, we went to Stumpy’s Diner, where we each stayed within budget and had a delicious meal and tipped well. Thank you Stumpy’s!

Next, something horrible happened. Apparently, Colorado hates Wyoming and doesn’t want people entering the state from the north; therefore they have erected a 40 mile long dirt road as their border. Maryanne was ready to turn back and not damage her flawless aquamarine paint job, HOWEVER, Helen didn’t care. At all. She cared as much as a Republican cares for the environment. They drove onward, at 10 miles per hour.

The aspen trees were beautiful and they were able to see them up close. Maryanne also spotted a mouse! Helen didn’t care about that either. She became increasing grouchy as Maryanne’s speed didn’t increase. EVENTUALLY, they arrived to pavement. This was only after battling free roaming cow who had overtaken the road and about 50 antelope that needed to head over to Mike’s freezer.

Steamboat Springs Colorado: home of a ski resort, statues or Albert Einstein playing with children, outdoor adventures, and links to the Brown clan name! Two cousins of ours, Amy Brown and her husband, Tom Brown had moved the name out west and planted a homestead, all while providing more heirs to the bloodline! This was our first encounter that we could ever remember with these close, and yet distant cousins. After meeting them, we are proud to share genetics.

Day 14
We arose early, at 11AM to go hiking with Amy. We took two trails, Lupine Overlook annnnnd the Blairwitch Trail. You can guess on which trail we spotted the burned car, off a 200 foot cliff!

That’s right, the Lupine Trail!!

We learned the beautiful bird we keep seeing is a pest to most locals – the Magpie! We still like it though, take that for having dirt road border! Also, we ran through fields theatrically – reenacting Little House on the Prairie. Maryanne was the blind sister Mary, which explains her speed and Helen was Laura. (Helen has no idea what I’m talking about because she has never read these books. I don’t even know what to do with her.)

Both sisters decided the next adventure would be a semi-nudist Hot Springs nearby! Truthfully it’s only nudist at night, but the public changing teepee (not room, literally Indian house) makes up for it! Maryanne doesn’t appreciate getting changed, NAKED, in the same room as multiple strangers of both genders, but this naked teepee didn’t bother Helen!. Maryanne walked the ten feet to the changing room and remained modest. In conclusion however, even with clothing on the Hot Springs were very relaxing!

Helen wasn’t satisfied from the 5 mile hike so she went running in the high elevation, while Maryanne stayed indoors and played with her second cousins twice removed (cousin’s children – WHAT ARE THEY?!). This was a safer and somewhat easier sport.

The day winded down with ham/veggie burgers and politics. Some souls died during O’Reilly, but those still intake are going to bed and heading to Dinosaur National Monument tomorrow!

Day 12 - Rapid City, SD to Larame, WY

Snow had fallen in South Dakota on day 12, confirming our desperate need to get south as fast as possible!

We still had a park pass though – so first we went back to Custer State Park to hike in the snow. There we studied snow safety and mistook dogs for mountain lions. We built a snowman and realized too late that we were on the wrong trail. It was beautiful, unmarred white snow with a pristine blue sky, and Maryanne did yoga while Helen made snow angels.

Driving into the “flat with small hills” state of Wyoming, we speculated two things:
1) Absolutely no one lives here.
2) So there are probably no police.

Point 2 proved to later be false when we saw someone get pulled over, but not before Maryanne took her car to 110 MPH! Her car goes 160, so who knows?! Actually, she’ll never go that fast again, I just spoke with her telepathically. This was easy because I am writing in a third omnipotent voice.

As we drove farther and farther into Wyoming we got scared. This state is 66% McCain and 28% Obama. Our Obama sticker and North Carolina tags could only emphasize that we were radical liberals seeking to destroy this state. (Or understanding of current issues and voting wisely to benefit the world.) We built this up so much in our mind, that every desolate area we passed we speculated our bodies might end up there and questioned how long it would take them to be found. We had no cell phone service. The only other car we saw on the road was missing tags!

As our panic took full effect, the gas gauge dropped. Soon we had only 30 miles and about 300 miles of Wyoming left…we stopped in Lusk. Helen hid in the car, while Maryanne (as stealth like as possible) tried to fill up her tank. THEN, a man wearing a cowboy hat started to talk to her. It was a polite conversation revolving around the mechanics of her car. It was friendly, and yet, the feeling that he was sizing up how fast she could drive away didn’t escape – UNTIL he pulled away, and there, on his enormous truck was an Obama sticker!

WELCOME TO WYOMING!!

Bouyed, Maryanne went inside and bought coffee. When she presented her debit card, (which in the “sign here” area she has written “STOLEN! Ask for ID.”) the woman laughed and laughed and showed everyone in the store. (And asked for ID.) She thought Maryanne was wonderful, even if her ID was a NC license.

As we continued our drove south, we noticed something unusual – it was getting COLDER! In fact, by the time we arrived, we had lost 11 degrees. I guess it’s that elevation thing, because we did see some mountains that looked rocky today….and yes, those were the ROCKY MOUNTAINS. These are the mountains of our birth, so we both felt fond toward them, UNTIL THE ANTELOPE AND DEER APPEARED! Not one or two, but herds of 50 were in the road. Maryanne’s driving stress level was at its highest ever. There were only about 5 people within a 100 mile radius of us, and it was unlikely that they were the operators of AAA, so hitting one would have been a huge unnecessary hassle. Helen got mad at her for going 50 in a 65, but Maryanne held her ground (or foot off the accelerator).

Finally we arrived at Mike and Melissa’s abode in Laramie! They greeted us and Melissa got to watch Maryanne fail at parallel parking. We had a warm meal and good conversation. Melissa has about 100 varieties of tea to choose from, mmmm! Their house is so welcoming that we immediately felt comfortable. And Maryanne feel asleep before even writing this blog!

Reader Response!

Due to the numerous questions (1) about the apperance of a certain Walter. (See Day 5!) Here he is! For those desiring the cliffnotes version of this character, here those are!:

Walter: A drunken 40 something year old man wearing a cowboy hat who danced with everything that was near him...chairs, girls, HELEN, etc.... Walter sometimes is granted the priveledge of coming on stage to make a fool of himself and grab a large woman's breasts.


Also, his named isn't really Walter. We named him. Obviously. Helen has his number though.

Day 11 - Doing nothing and everything

Dear Maryanne and Helen,

We are glad you are having a good time. Drinking beer alone in at Helen's friends parents house has been very rewarding as you know. We are glad that we enjoy reading this, since no one else does.

Lots of love,
Maryanne and Helen

Days 9 and 10: The Black Hills!

Day 9 started off successful. Maryanne doesn’t have a winter jacket, so we went to a random consignment shop and were able to find a warm, glorious purple and black Columbia one for $25! (It served its job well today!)

Then we were to replace the third and last rotting wheel on her car. This was beyond aggravating because she had a courtesy inspection done before the road trip, but VW did a terrible job. When the rotted tires were pointed out, even MARYANNE could tell they were bad. Anyway, since she bought the car used she didn’t realize there were special rims and therefore impossible to find (unless ordered) tires. After five stores, this annoying task was complete!

Just as we were leaving the last tire dealership, it started to sprinkle snow! We drove through the wilderness and discovered Mt. Rushmore. It was neat, but definitely not something you should travel solely to see.

It was now 3pm, and the one sister who actually feels hunger, was STARVING. Poor Maryanne was forced to adapt to Helen’s never eating schedule. Eventually she was able to coerce Helen into stopping to create food. This involved breaking in the camp stove that had been purchased for this road trip and going far into the woods to have a picnic.

The outdoor adventure continued to Sylvan Lake. This was so picturesque that it didn’t even look real. The rocks of the Black Hills jotted out inside the water. As we were hiking the trail around the lake, we found the Sunday Gulch trail the looped off of it. It was only 3.8 miles, so we decided to hike it. It was a very strenuous hike, with rails in place to save you from dying otherwise.

(Note: Please look at the temperature, not at Maryanne's driving face.)

It started to become dark, and since the area is extremely rural (and has mountain lions, buffalo and deer) we started to move very fast. THEN we heard it. A noise. It was like no sound we’d heard before. Maybe Bigfoot had wandered in the Black Hills? Whatever it was, it was loud and nearby. We got out our knives and moved as fast as possible, jogging and sprinting to get out of the woods ASAP.

WE SURVIVDED! After escaping our possible deaths, we finished our walk around the lake. It was now nightfall and as Maryanne drove, very slowly and cautiously, we saw deer! Not one or two, but over 50!! We saw bucks and doe and fawns….we saw more deer in 10 minutes than an entire year in Jersey. We kept passing signs warning not to approach buffalo, and were getting excited we might see one!

Then it happened! Helen saw a monster shadow in the woods. Throwing caution to the other tourists, we reversed the car to see it. Upon looking at it, from 20 feet away, it suddenly started to RUN TOWARD THE CAR! Maryanne has never used the turbo engine on her car with such haste and urgency.

Both sisters were a little scared and just started to record what had happened, WHEN! (Listen to the best video EVER!)

Whew. We are survivors. Bigfoot and rampaging buffalo.

We got back to our couch surfing hosts, and told them about our adventure. They laughed.

Al, a friend of our host, told us he was going to go on a convert apple mission. He was intending to save apples from community trees that would otherwise go to waste. Anything that has the world convert in it and includes headlamps has us in! Also, the risks of stealing apples compared to bear mauling are also miniscule. We hopped onto bikes and explored the apple trees of Rapid City at night. Although Maryanne can no longer bear children, it was fun.

The next morning, the weather was fierce. Snow, cold, sleet, misery, etc. We decided to go caving! Jewel cave is the second longest cave in the world, and it is our favorite! We climbed over 40 stories through this cave and got to see all sorts of unique formations, especially the CAVE BACON!

Upon leaving, there was a snowstorm. We are heading south IMMEDITATLY!

That night, we were staying with the parents of a friend of Helen’s from college. It was like Christmas Day in terms of couch surfing accommodations. Fireplaces! Separate bedrooms! Homemade banana bread for breakfast! TV! Delicious coffee!

This isn’t to mention how wonderful Barb and John were! They took us out to a local eatery, The Firehouse Brewing Company!

We are so lucky and comfortable to be here!

Also, this is personally voted our best video yet!

Day 8: Sioux Falls to Rapid City, SD

Day 8: Sioux Falls to Rapid City, SD!

Day 8 involved a lot of car sight seeing of northern South Dakota! There were some not-so-flat events though! We woke up in Sioux Falls and visited downtown and the falls! The downtown is very spacious and has sculptures everywhere. We posed with a lot of the sculptures and visited many small independent stores. We decided to forgo food so Maryanne could buy Obama magnets and Helen bought beads. (Really.)


We walked down to the falls, which were beautiful, but smelled a little. They were really rocky and jagged, unlike Niagara:

We then drove for a few hours and went to the CORN PALACE! YES! This is a building (or palace) that EVERY SINGLE YEAR, is redecorated entirely using corn to match the new theme. They were transitioning from 2008 to 2009, so we got to see how the process works. It’s like a giant paint by number, but with colored corn. Over 500,000 people visit this extreme tourist trap EVERY YEAR in Mitchell, SD! We had $1.50 left for food, so we bought popcorn! And we endorse visiting this!

We then continued our very long drive across South Dakota.

It was really flat and beautiful. We saw some wind turbines moving and thought about how much land and opportunity there was out here for wind energy...and how this would cause a redistribution of population. Maryanne got really excited about all the possibilities this could have....and Helen endured Maryanne's thoughts on this.

Eventually we crossed the Missouri River! We starting to see signs, literally, over 300 signs for this tourist trap called, “Wall Drug.” They were each ridiculous and we were sucked in! (Wall Drug spends an estimated $400,000 on bill board signs every year.) After 200 miles, we stopped and the place was beyond lame. Unless you like a place built on paraphernalia celebrating itself....like, there was nothing there except t-shirts, mugs and magnets celebrating that you had been there! LAME.

Maryanne was almost as ridiculous as the signs. Almost, but not quite.




Finally, we arrived in Rapid City! You could spot the city 40 miles out because it was so flat and the city so bright. We met our couch surfing host, Eric and his housemate Al. We were greeted with delicious margaritas and chili! (This is why despite wasting our food allowance, we didn’t starve!)

Another great day! Even if most of it was spent in a car!

Day 7: Davenport, Iowa to Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Day 7: Davenport, Iowa to Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Tiffany made us breakfast! French toast! Eggs! Sausage! Which made up for Maryanne learning that Helen had lost her brand-new hat the night before at Boosies.

On the way to work, Tiffany directed us to Walmart so we could hopefully get the missing third tire – but Maryanne snob-mobile only takes select tires and none were in stock. Feeling pissed off and reckless with her now-negative budget, Maryanne bought $150 GPS and simultaneously outsourced Helen: the navigator. Helen has been laid off before so this was not a new thing to her life. She now writes blog entries – sows bags for Christmas gifts and sings loudly.

With TomTom, which is the brand and name, on the dashboard, getting out of Davenport and on the road has been a breeze. TomTom even helped us find a local café in DesMoises, IA called The Great Midwestern Café. Helen was able to flirt down 50% discount using her fake southern draw and a great sob story. We had homemade potato soup, a huge fresh turkey sandwich, two bags of chips and a drink for $7. (The chips are currently on reserve of less privileged times ahead). This meal should of cost 14$. TomTom did make a mistake later on leading us to a park to run in. The Lewis and Clack park in Lewis, Nebraska is not really a recreational park – but an industrial park. It smelled very bad and Maryanne was chased by 6 mutant deer. This is why she is going into environmental law.

Enjoy the video that captures what we saw all day!



We listened to the Presidential debate on the radio. Quote: "We can work on nuclear power plants. Build a whole bunch of them.” How much is a "whole bunch" McCain? The Obama sticker has another week..again. Good job!

Then we arrived in Sioux Falls, SD. Here we met our couch surfing host for the evening – Wade. We watched the second half of the Presidential debate then headed out for an evening of 2fers at Tinners. Our host and his roommate, Evan (who loves Britney Spears!) had spent their entire summer in Tanzania and it was exciting to hear about their travels. We normally bring out hosts a gift when we stay with them – but we forgot because we were listening to the debate on the radio. This made us feel very guilty – so we bought beer instead and put us way over budget.

This is okay because Helen is selling things on Ebay and was able to finance their beer on her PayPal account. After we were out – we went to check out the falls that the town was named after. It was dark and looking at the falls when there was no light may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but it was just very cold.

SO:
1) Obama won the debate!
2) We saw the college of Sioux Falls!
3) We enjoyed beer at Tinners!
4) We heard (and sorta saw) the falls!
Welcome to South Dakota!

Day 6: Chicago to Davenport Iowa

Day 6: Chicago to Davenport Iowa

Helen’s navigation once again failed on route to Davenport, Iowa from Chicago. Not only did this miscalculation of direction cost time – but money. Lots of Money. That made Maryanne very unhappy.

Maryanne, being the safety-first sister, wanted to get her routine 5,000 miles oil change and inspection on her car. Despite getting a check up in Jersey to make sure the car was ready to go on the roadtrip, Maryanne was given the devastating news that three of her tires were dry rotting. She could visibly see where they were splitting!! Being in an unfamiliar town – buying new tires put her back $470 and she still needs to get one more tire because only two were in stock! How awful. Good thing we have triple AAA in case we don’t make to our next destination in Sioux Falls, SD.

After an afternoon and sorrow and budget depletion, Helen friends from college, Tiffany and Mark Hamilton, who we were staying with gave us Beast Light to drown our sorrows and we headed out the door to go to Boosies. This was a delectable decision. There was dollar drafts and Maryanne soon forgot about her tire travesty. Cheap beer, 40 cents wings, and the award winning Boosie burger made for a great evening in Davenport, Iowa. We went back to Tiffany and Marks new house to watch the fake reality show “The Hills.” Maryanne wisely pointed out an inconsistency in the background proving the shot was not “reality”. This is the second week that fate has forced Helen and Maryanne to watch “The Hills” This trend needs to stop because both of us feel like we never needed to know this much about the fake lives of others.

Day 5: Chicago

Day 5: Chicago

This is a complete video blog about our day!


Lessons learned from making this video:
1) Maryanne overuses "like" and "cool" on camera.
2) Helen selects the most unattractive angles possible to record things.
3) Inserting pictures/videos in the middle of Maryanne's monologue improve this by 113%!

Day 4: Sandusky Ohio to Chicago

Day 4: Sandusky Ohio to Chicago

We arose early, at 10 am, and went running in the local Sandusky community along lake Eire. Dora and Jesus told us to come back to their restaurant when we had showered and were done with our daily calisthenics. When we got there we had yet another wonderful lunch and great green hot sauce. Dora and Jesus even packed us sandwiches to go! Here we are with our hosts.

Then we were on the road again heading towards Chicago and out couch surfing home for the next two nights with Nicole. We changed times zones and arrived at 6pm. For your information, if you get hungry before you want to pay a toll in Illinois – you can go through the McDonalds highway take out window. This is a major problem with the world.

Our couch surfing host is a huge Cubs fan and was out wishing them luck with fellow fans – so we met up with Zack Jackson. He is a high school friend of Maryanne. We took the L Train two stops to B.L.U.E.S. and arrived early enough to get the best seats in the house. Helen had a martini as a belated birthday gift from Maryanne (Helen’s Birthday is May 25th). This birthday gift brought much joy to Helen. Maryanne tried the local ale – Goose Honkers and enjoyed it so much that neither one of them remember what Zack was drinking. The music was great and the crowd was even better. Our favorite audience member was a man wearing a cowboy hat named Walter. He was “dancing” with every girl with two legs and was called on stage to squeeze a rather large woman’s breast. This moment was very similar to a car accident. We left and went to our host house for the evening. She lives a mere two blocks from Wrigley Field and had Obama signs in her front yard. We knew she would be good.

Day 3: Cedar Pointin Sanducky Ohio!

Day 3: Cedar Point in Sandusky,Ohio!

We arrived in Sandusky, Ohio famished because in order to follow our food spending allowance of $5 per day we only ate leftover oyster crackers and coffee from some Canadian equivalent of Star Bucks for breakfast (Canadian chain restaurants are okay since all their employees have health care.) It is also interesting to note, that you can use American or Canadian money close to the border -- in both the USA and Canada.

We met our coach surf host Dora at her family restaurant near the theme park of Cedar Point. We arrived with the intention of just getting directions to her house, however she insisted we had something to eat. Maryanne had a vegetarian burrito and Helen had fish tacos! Dora even made us horchata or sweetened rice milk. Helen drank two glasses because Maryanne is lactose intolerant, although she did enjoy a few sips. Helen made cruel noises of happiness to display how good the drink was after each sip -- just to make sure Maryanne knew what she missing out on.

Next Dora led us to her home, taking the long way so we could see the cute town of Sandusky. She showed us around and we got ready for the theme park. We dressed in many layers to brave the frigid temperatures. Not only did Dora feed us – she insisted on dropping us off at the front gate at Cedar Point so we didn’t have to pay for $10 for parking!! She told us to “be safe” and she would be back at midnight to pick us up!

The best time to go to Cedar Point has to be in October. The longest wait we had was 20 minutes and we walked onto most rides without a wait. We even sat front row on every coaster at least once (minus the Dragster because it was really scary) and rode most 2 or 3 times. Maryanne and Helen both picked the Millennium Force as their favorite ride because of how tall it was and how sharp the initial drop was. When you sat in the front – it appeared there was not even a track under you!


Cedar Point was holding the equivalent of Halloween Fright Fest. They had a haunted corn walk – and lots of other scary themed areas. Maryanne’s favorite part was leaving Helen’s side and watching her get scared then coming up when she wasn’t watching and scaring her. This was not Helen’s favorite part. In fact she did not enjoy it.

These are our roller coaster faces because we are too broke to buy the picture when you are done the ride:

After a long night at the theme park – we were glad our ride was there.

Here is a video of our time at Cedar Point!
WARNING: There is profanity coming from the lips of Helen Brown!

We went back to our host house to meet Dora’s husband, Jesus and were treated to Mexican hot chocolate. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Nothing could have been better at that point. Dora and Jesus showed us pictures from their trip to Italy, France, and Spain. It was really fun to hear about their travels and we wish them luck with their baby that is on the way!

Days 1 and 2: Montgomery, PA and Niagra Falls, Ontario!

We have been on the road for two days. Currently we are driving toward Niagara Falls where we have a mission to find the Java Hut on the Canadian side in the Bird Aviary. This was our goal given to us by our couch surfing host last night, Rocky. All the leaves are starting to change. Each mile north we go, the colors get brighter and we get colder.

Day One: Montgomery, PA!

We are writing this blog and editing videos in the car and will post as soon as we have a chance.

Day two: Niagara Falls, Ontario!
We arrived in Niagara with cold pouring rain to greet us. First thing was to find parking. Due to our limited budget of $0 allotted for parking – we had a problem. Helen put on her fake southern accent and flirted with the parking guy who proceeded to let us park for free. We were told by several sources that we HAD to do the Maid of the Mist boat tour of Niagara. So we researched online and found out it was $2 cheaper on the American than the Canadian side. We raced around in the pouring rain to find tickets and get on the last boat of the day.

The Maid of the Mist requires everyone to wear farcical blue ponchos and so we got to look ridiculous and stay dry! Immediately on board, we proceeded to the upper level of the boat to enjoy the ride and have the best view.

There were many near death experiences in the choppy waves. Niagara falls are shaped like a horseshoe, and at one point the boat tour takes you into the center. It was pouring AND the mist from the waterfalls were getting us soaked. We could not feel our hands, face, or any other part of our body. Also, the boat would unexpectedly lurch and Maryanne fell on someone. It was embarrassing.

The water was surprisingly green, like a very chlorinated swimming poor and we recommend this tour to everyone.

After we RECYCLED our ponchos, it was time to head to our couch surfing destination for the evening with Paul and Kate in Canada. Although the directions to the house contained over twenty different turns -- we didn't get lost! After a long driveway, we arrived to a glass of wine and homemade salsa.

The house was an old refinished farmhouse that reminded us of our Aunt Bebe. It had fascinating relics from their adventures to 50 counties. After a filling meal of homemade vegetable chili, we watched the US Vice Presidential debate in Canada even though their Prime Minister debate was on. Paul and Kate said they wanted to watch the Vice President debate over their own country’s debate. Joe Biden won! As Sarah Palin would say, "Heck yeah! He gosh darn did!"

The Obama bumper sticker has earned it place on our car for yet another week.

The next morning we intended to go the bird aviary and fulfill Rocky's mission by having a beer at the Java Hut inside of it. IT WAS CLOSED! We would have to wait around for three hours to drink, but we had a long drive ahead, so we had to leave the mission a failure. We were upset, but even moreso when we saw something shocking outside the aviary!

Horrifying!

YES, that is a DEAD bird!!
Sorry Rocky – we will use the money to document other dead brids throughout of trip.